Sometimes I really feel like I am so lost and I got no confident at all. I lack of confident about all the things that I do, all the people I loves and everything that related to me. I got no idea why, I just don't feel the same way that other girls do, they alway think that everything they had are inevitable, but I really don't, I can't afford losing the one I really love, so I choose to hide, choose to give up earlier so that they won't get hurt at the future.
But my thought was totally wrong, still, they get hurt and depress on me. I can't explain why I did this to them, I always feel that all the things that belong to me right now is actually not belong to me, I'm not deserve all these thingy. And, my mind will tell me that they could deserve a better one. I know I am definitely ridiculous but I just couldn't control my mind stop thinking about this. Where's my confident goes? Sigh
Something happened last night, I din't mean to hurt him for telling him all the ridiculous stuff but I feel that I am not good enough for him, he could deserve a better one. I really felt guilty and things getting worse after I told him, broken his heart and hurting him. Gosh! What I am thinking and doing? Why am I keep thinking about the negative of myself? I am not tender, not caring, not smart, not pretty, bad attitude, shit personality. All these negative thought split into my mind and I will think that why they love me? I know nobody is perfect but too bad, I am the worst one.
Confident Confident Confident, where you've been? Why am I keep hurting the one I love without any reason? Ishh, my friends alway tell me, "do not think the negative way, there must be a reason why they love you, trust yourself and be confident" awwwwww.... I really hope I could stop thinking too much and stop hurting the one I love.
Ps: Dear, I apologize for last night, I <3 you and I always do ^^
I don't know what happen to you....but I hope everything is going well....you are Kathrine Yong,ple remember that...=D
ReplyDeletethx ^^
ReplyDeleteSis juz b urself. datz is y ur honey love u for. dat is y ur friend, me, n ur bf like u for.
ReplyDeletebeing bad doesnt matter thats why life is interesting when we have those good n bad qualities, have to ask yeely to smack some confidence into u.juz b ur normal self. never ever look down too much on oneself or another. look down can but not too much. ur an interesting person my dear beloved lil sis now get up and get movin....remember ur bf love u for who u r so be who u r!